Do it Scared!

So.. As many of you may know, I had a presentation with Apple (yes like THE Apple), at their Williamsburg location this past Thursday. The presentation was part of their series, for Women's History Month. I was approached by an amazing person by the name of Wafer Tetevi, who works as a programming expert for Apple.

Now in full transparency, anytime I'm presented with an opportunity to speak publicly, I immediately tense up, and my mind goes into ways of saying "thanks, but no thanks". Due to me having a really intense work schedule, using that as an excuse, is usually more than good, and I never walk away with a damaged relationship. (Hey, what can I say, people are understanding lol..)

AND just to be clear, committing to things like this, at times are still a sacrifice, BUT...what is a life without sacrifices???

Fast forward to the week of 3/11, I end up taking on the OPPORTUNITY (because that is exactly what it was for me), to present. Now, as I'm planning for this, I ask Wafer (who planned the entire series of events), If I could integrate a moderator to help me through speaking. Wafer was amazing, and said "absolutely, whatever it is that makes you feel....COMFORTABLE".

I then think long and hard on it. I had so many women that I knew could help me moderate, and would do an excellent job. My mind then goes to a memory of me watching Ted talks, on various plane rides. I remember alway's admiring the people who were able to speak, present, and keep people engaged for such a long period of time. I remember saying to myself "THAT COULD NEVER BE ME". Now, don't get me wrong, what I did at Apple, was not as extensive as a TED talk, but it was, in my mind a step in that direction.

My thoughts when tackling this then become, to do something I never did before, to see if I could succeed at it. So.. I DID IT SCARED.

From the time I committed to the talk, to the time I presented it, I would have these nervous thoughts of what was to come. The Monday before the event, my anxiety was through the roof!! Also, not to mention, Meek Mill's tour was on the east coast that week, and my schedule was crazy and didn't give me much time to fully prepare.

All in all, the point I really want to get across is, I did it, in the way that I did (w/ no moderator), to challenge myself. I did it to learn new things about myself. I also did it, because the bigger picture was that I'm committed to being a better me.

I've thankfully reached a point in my life, where I understand that taking myself out of my comfort zone, is essential to my happiness and growth. It is my responsibility, due to the blessings that God has bestowed upon me. I truly believe in order to get to the next level of your life, you have to take steps that you have never taken before. My greatest experiences have happened when I walked by faith and couldn't see the full pathway. I've seen through myself and others, that the doors just begin to open, when you take a chance towards what's genuinely in your heart.

I don't know yet, what the biggest lesson was for me, in accepting that presentation. The lesson could be, that I learned that I could speak, in an eloquent way, and give my version of a TED talk, successfully. If that is the biggest lesson, I am completely grateful. I'm happy to have been able to present to a beautiful room. I'm happy my family and close friends were there to encourage me through it, and be present as I fought through my fears. Most of all, I'm happy that my story was able to inspire a few of those who were present in the room.

For all of these things I will continue to "DO IT SCARED".